Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Back in the Public Eye

Oh, John Edwards.

Where do I start?

His marital indiscretions aren't really what bother me the most. All politicians have affairs. It's just a hazard of the trade.

But using campaign contributions to cover up his dalliances? That's taking politics to an entirely new level.

John Edwards is one of those individuals who has the ability to take the American Dream, and twist and distort it into something unrecognizable.


To make matters even worse, he lied about his indiscretions. Consistently.

Who wouldn't want this man in the White House?

And now comes the really exciting news.

He's riding back into Raleigh on his white steed, ready to pick up where he left off in the land of ambulance-chasing-bluecollar-preying-low-life personal injury law.

It seems the senator's reported $30 million nest egg just isn't enough to cover his $500 haircuts nor the mortgage payments on his $1.7 million beach house.

Just when we thought we'd gotten rid of him for good, he rears his ugly head and assures us that we haven't seen the last of him. No, far from it.

It takes some brass balls to return to a society that once helped you to work your way up the political ladder to a position that then spit you out and kicked you into the gutter.

Thanks for doing your part to uphold the stereotype of a hard-working Southern politician.

I'm sure that won't come back to bite us in the future.

So, on behalf of Raleigh citizens everywhere, I'd like to un-welcome you back to society, Mr. Edwards.

You certainly were not missed.

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