Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Purpose-Driven Love

I found an interesting article on this morning. The gist of it theorizes that while falling in love can happen to anyone and can be considered circumstantial, building a relationship with someone is purpose-driven. Learning to love with a purpose is an entirely different concept from the initial butterflies in the stomach type love. I think I've (as well as many other people) known this to be true for a while, but to have someone put it into words really hits home.

Anyone can develop those careless, head-in-the-clouds, need for closeness feelings at any point in time. Learning to love through thoughtful, purposeful actions is a much deeper, more evolved process. Essentially, you can look at it as the initial infatuation giving you an incentive to develop the lasting, more dedicated devotion to someone. Falling in love is just the first step. The true meaning of love is everything that follows.

The article continues:

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"Think of your relationship as maintenance – you need to regularly check the oil and all the other bits and pieces in order to make sure that it’s not going to all fall apart.

People most often make the mistake of thinking that it’s enough to feel they love someone, but that isn’t what love is. The point of love is the selflessness it allows for – what you feel has nothing to do with it.

On the other hand, building a relationship, week over week, year over year, allows for something that is everlasting, something meaningful, beautiful and powerful. Falling in love doesn’t have that sort of force. Only relationships do.

Anyone can fall in love – in fact, just about everyone does, several times in his or her life. People fall in love every day, and then fall out of love the very next.

Building a relationship, on the other hand, is much more rare. Why? Because people don’t like to work for anything. We’re all lazy by nature, and unfortunately, most of us never change, never learn better, never make an effort to become better individuals.

Relationships take a lot of work. Love takes a lot of work. Falling in love takes no work, which is why it’s so appealing. Until, of course, we move past the honeymoon phase and into something more real. That’s when people get cold feet and run for the hills.

Falling in love can be a bit deceiving. It can lead to a lot of emotional distress, chaos and problems. At the same time, it’s so incredibly pleasurable. If you want to live a happy life, then you need to find the right balance. Build a relationship, but build it on that spark that got it all started."

Pretty deep, right? But who can actually argue with that type of logic? The thing is, anyone can -- and does, often -- fall in love. Living for that love, and choosing to love someone day in and day out is what makes our foundation solid. It makes you wonder if modern society's divorce rate doesn't have something to do with the fact that so few people understand the very essence of a purpose-driven love. The initial lust fades so quickly, and if we're not willing to work towards maintaining something more solid with someone, we'll never succeed in understanding what love is.

Gives you something to think about, doesn't it?

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